77 Days a Journey to Liberation
A VERY SALTY PSA
There is a song from the musical RENT called Seasons of Love, that asks how do you “measure a year” here are the opening lyrics…
525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In 525,600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
I have been really curious, how does one measure ANYTHING in these crazy times?
Several years ago I was guided to STOP counting. What that meant to me was to stop counting the laps I swam, the miles I walked, my weight on a scale (or any other device or methodology) and probably the most difficult of all I stopped wearing a watch (I had worn a watch 24/7 since I was a teenager.) When I stopped counting, I got more present. Swimming and walking became a meditation for me, I heard the birds and watched cloud patterns and delighted in these simple things. No watch also allowed me to be more present in my relationships because I needed to be aware of time without a crutch. It too has created a different sense of ease and joy for me.
I am also considering what feels like the alarming speed of change and transformation that we (or maybe just I) are experiencing, and how one measures or quantifies these new experiences?
“Not everything important is measurable and not everything that is measurable is important” Elliot Eisner
If you are anything like me you have been seeking out some form of solid ground — anywhere. For example, we are experiencing massive earthquakes, tornadoes, flooding and overall weather patterns that are considered 100 year storms that are literally AND metaphorically shaking us to our cores. How do we measure these things so we can collectively work through them?
“Before Alice got to Wonderland she had to fall”
This all takes me to my past few months. I started to measure and count again to talk about what I have done in what would normally be considered an unthinkable series of tasks in an inconceivably short period of time.
It took 77 days…
You may ask, what took 77 days Rebecca. Well from the day I called my dear Shakti Sister in Kansas City from the home of my other amazing Shakti Sister in Israel to the day I closed and moved into my home in Kansas City and rented my apartment in Portugal (January 31st) it took precisely 77 days.
I lived in Colorado for almost 24 years, I think I stayed past my expiration date, I was stuck. I was stuck in my home, I was stuck in my work, I was stuck in my relationships. I was a deeply rooted weed tree, that was literally immovable and in a deep sickness because of it.
Whirlwind doesn’t quite describe the details, timing, quickly changing events and feelings I experienced. It was truly, as one would say in Yiddish, bashert or my destiny.
Looking back, I still have no idea how everything worked as it did. There were so many “forces” that were pushing against me and yet everything magically happened.
I looked at the spiritual meaning of the number 77 and I found some synchronistic things
“Number 77 directly relates to our spiritual connection to deeper, immaterial things. Receiving this number is a sign from the universe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Also, number 77 may indicate that you are being asked to cast away your fear and strengthen your faith and belief, which can be viewed as a precursor to a miracle or an upheaval. Which one it turns out to be, depends entirely on you. Your thoughts, behaviors, habits, and actions will determine the outcome of this number’s intense power”
I have really come to understand that if one is stuck everything takes significant time, energy and the marshaling of truly absurd resources to make anything happen. On the contrary when you let go of what you believe is needed or required one is able to get into a flow of speed and unprecedented resources that you may have never experienced.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens”
Traveling to Portugal and Israel in October and November of 2022 uprooted the weed tree, shook all the cobwebs from the leaves and allowed me to have some deep clarity on what I had needed to do for many years, GET MOVING. Move my body, move my physical space, move the way I was in relationship with people, places and things in a way I had never before. To be clear and not stating this hyperbolically this was what I needed to do to save my life
“Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from.” ~Vernon Howard
As this is the week of Holy Celebrations, I took out a copy of my Pass Over Haggadah from David Sanders and Denver’s Kabbalah Experience. (Haggadah is the prayer book used during Passover to recount the story of the Exodus)
For those who don’t celebrate, Passover is the Jewish holiday that honors the freedom and exodus of the Israelites (Jewish slaves) from Egypt during the reign of the Pharaoh Ramses II. Before the ancient Jews fled Egypt, their firstborn children were “passed over” and spared from death, thus dubbing the holiday “Passover.”
In the Kabbalah Experience Haggadah it explains that “it is incumbent upon all of us to experience in your own way leaving Egypt” This Kabbalah teaching unpacks the Passover Seder into an introspective journey of liberating ourselves from that which enslaves or constricts us.
I truly believe leaving Colorado was my experience of leaving Egypt. I didn’t know it however in hindsight it was a deep journey of liberating myself from what was enslaving and constricting me. I don’t believe I would or could accomplish the work I believe I was put here to do had I stayed.
Back to this measuring thing… What was I needing to talk about with people that wasn’t explainable? I guess for starters, why would I leave Colorado? From an outsider’s perspective everything was good, why fix something that isn’t broken. AND what is true for me was that was the story I was telling myself and everyone else for YEARS, actually a decade. I was in a golden cage of my own design - DAMN! What was my liberation worth and could I walk away from everything that defined me for nearly a quarter of a century.
When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for. ~CLARISSA PINKOLA ESTÉS
During this time of liberation for Jews and resurrection and rebirth for Christians I would ask each of you to consider what is it that you need to liberate yourself from in order for you to be born again and have everything you have always dreamed of. Although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend doing what I did in 77 days (it was crazy and even scary) I do FULLY endorse making a change be it small or bold to live your best life, I sure am!
We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
